This is my blog to keep track of my journey on getting and being pregnant. I had my fist miscarriage around 11/17/11, but I will not let this hold me back. I never thought about miscarriage my fear was always that I couldn't get pregnant. It took a while for my body to get back on track but we are now pregnant again thanks to our faith and not giving up hope! I'll rant, talk about my fears, my strugles, the high points, and the lows. I'll be a first time mom and would love any tips or help you can give.
5 months since we lost our pregnancy
I can’t believe it’s been
six months edit 5 months, it seems so much longer. I thought I would have been pregnant by now but I guess god has other plans for me as of yet.
It makes me feel sad when I think about six months ago and where I was, I try not to think about it often. Although I love that show Long island medium.
On the first episode she asked a lady in the grocery store if someone lost a baby and the lady said her sister. Theresa said “well I just want you to know that your grandmother is coming forward holding the baby and they are all together”
I had to leave the room, I couldn’t even keep it together, like now writing about it I can’t even see the screen through my tears. ( I guess I know the buttons on the key board pretty well!)
That’s all I could ask for is my mom and grandmother who passed are with my little one. It would make me the happiest person in the world to know that they have a part of me. I just miss them so much and wish they were here.
This to shall pass
--Love that and need to remind myself that more often.
I really like my doctor, she was very kind and funny and down to earth.
She told me-
- That I’m fertile because I did get pregnant once already
- That I don’t have any cysts
- My uterus is small which is good
- My thyroid is a good size
- Not to bbt chart anymore because it’s not necessary for her and it just causes me added stress
- To keep opking
- Stop taking vitex (it hasn’t helped me anyway)
So I’m going to stop stressing over ttc and let god handle it and he will grant us with a baby when he knows we are ready. I go for bloodwork tomorrow and have my next appointment on April 28th at 12:30 to talk about my blood work.
I’m 5lbs over what I would like to be so I’m going to focus on getting to a more healthy weight so when I do get pregnant it will be better for me.
Found a new doctor
I tried to find a different doctor to go to and I found one, called and the receptionist was very nice so I’m hoping the doctor will be just as nice, caring and understanding as I need.
I go tomorrow at 11am. I’m pretty excited. They don’t do blood work at the office so I’m not sure if they will send me to another place tomorrow to get my blood taken as well of have me go a different day.
My temp dropped again this morning to 97.2
It’s so frustrating because I had all signs that pointed to O and to have no thermal shift just doesn’t make sense. To think that I didn’t even O yet or that I might be having an anovlitory cycle just sucks.
So if I base when Af should show off of when “I might have ovulated” then I shoud get Af on the 16th. If I don’t I’m going to call the doctor and explain that I haven’t gotten my period and I’m not pregnant and take it from there.
There is no way that I will go through another 107 day cycle again. Never.
This cycle is driving me crazy!
My temp finally went back up. So I’ve been reading a lot and the temp drop could be whats called a fallback rise or a second estrogen surge. Ether way I’m so confused on when or if I ovulated. I didn’t want to take another opk yesterday for fear that it was going to be negative and then thinking I’m having an anovulatory cycle. But I have a feeling that I ovulated yesterday and my body tried to ovulate on cd 14 and then again on cd 20 but originally my ovulation day should be the cd 27. I’ve been taking vitex since December and I think it’s trying to get my body normal but it’s having a hard time. So I guess it’s just waiting for high temps and seeing if Af shows up. If I O’d on cd 21 it should show on April 15th. If I ovulated yesterday it will show on April 22nd.
However I had cramping late around 10:30 on cd 20 and had egg white cm on cd 19, 20, 21. So I feel like all signs point to ovulating on cd 21. I had no signs of ovulation yesterday.
Has anyone else ever had a fallback rise?
So I definitely ovulated. I think late Saturday because I had cramping around 10-10:30 at night and I had the last little bit of Egg white cm Sunday morning. My temp shot up this morning 97.7!
So now begins the two week wait! Excited and nervous, I want nothing more then to tell my husband he’s going to be a dad again. He told me he thinks about our angel everyday and it makes me sad for him that he had such a hard time with it. I just hope in two weeks I’ll be able to make him happy again.